On boots and bars and motorbikes...

Oldies but goodies: Got notified today that two previously published  Bobby Horecka stories will be running again, this time in the May /June 2019 Down in the Dirt literary magazine  Mr. Man Candy | The Legend of Chunk Two of our reader favorites, both on this blog and https://OutlawAuthorz.com   are now part of Down in the Dirt literary magazine!

As promised some time ago, I finally got around to this part: Outlaw Authorz began in a summer writer's workshop in 2017, when Ol' Burnin' Beard there nearly got a whole group of writers kicked out of the library during his reading. I know, I know... That's some outlaw shit there, huh? But you would've thought I got caught molesting kittens or something, as much as one of my compatriots gave me grief at the end of it all. She happened to be the same one who suggested we all read our pieces, and no one really wanting to seem obtuse, we read our work and offered up our critiques. Not that some of us hadn't stayed up late, writing carefully phrased, three-page critiques for everyone there a couple of nights before so everyone there could have a chance to look them over before they showed up. Some of us even brought all new material to place before the pack--I had two, in fact, one I just finished minutes before I showed up there--rather than the exact ...

Like most everything I write, even most outlandish of fictions, there's a good chance there's some hint of truth hidden somewhere. Some would say that probably makes me a rather liar, and I wouldn't tell them they're wrong. Every once in a while, though, you really gotta facts because you couldn't make up shit that good if you tried. That's the definitely the case with this next piece. . . And be patient: We'll get to the possums. Trust me... Meet Hico, a Boxer/Shepard mix that'll make you rethink your religious convictions once she gets to snarling and leaping every bit of five feet straight up, well above the four-foot fence that surrounds the yard. She's never gotten out, but I truly have no idea why that is. She's more than capable. Hard to believe that  she fit in the palm on my hand, the day I brought her home... *** I’m sure my notions on animals in general make me outright barbaric by most standards today,...

I doubt it'll do much. Why waste your time? It's better left to the coming darkness. That's what voices resonating in my head tell me. You ever heard them? I do all the time... Sure, those prizes sure look good--$1,000 here, $3,000 there, and always, there's the ever-elusive and perfunctory word so cherished by the wannabe world of aspirants--Publication. With a capital P. So I try today, as I have for the last few days now, entering a few words in the contests those writer magazines all the time advertise. Of course, that ever-elusive "Publication" I so long for? Most of it's in crap even I've never heard of, much less any of my biker buddies. Won't even know if they run it, to be perfectly honest, not without them telling me they did, anyway. Not like I'll ever run across a couple browsing a newsstand someplace, that's for sure. Still, despite it all, something in me wants it still, desires it so. Publication. Capital P or otherwi...

Been busy as a springtime hive of honeybees the last few, trying to get as many words on paper as I possibly can, as well as updating devices and files lost in the last computer debacles of late, getting ready for the new school year, and dealing with my lone student I gave an incomplete to last semester because he wound up having emergency surgery on his appendix in the final week of school. (No worries: He's fine now, but they sure kept him a spell at the hospital. He didn't get out until the final week of December. That was nearly a month as best I can tell, and I actually went to see him not long after his surgery in the first week of December.) But I'm staying plenty busy, anyhow. Kinda irritating at times how others don't seem to want to leave me alone when I'm working, but it's what I get, I guess, for setting up shop out here in the living room in front of God and everyone. Much as Stephen King told us to do in On Writing (which is a fine ...

I just wanted to update and say that the Geek Squad did me well. I got my laptop back a day early, and everything I thought I might've lost was right there waiting on me when I signed back on. What. A. Relief. In fact, it hasn't run this well since I first got it, and for all the pages it holds, that's quite astounding... I truly couldn't think of a better picure to go with that header. If that doesn't scream dorky geekdom right out loud, I'm pretty sure nothing will. From those stylin' Old Fart wingtips to the distressed university fleece that only nine people on the planet could possibly identity to that perfectly obnoxious Plumb Crazy Purple Willie Wonka Top Hat, it simply doesn't get any better. Of couse, to really sell that shit you've gotta throw in that smart little Hidey-Ho strut, the White Boy Shuffle, the schottische, something. This particular pose sort of reminds me of the Monopoly Man. you know, the fellow on the...

Boy, do I ever hope those Geeks at the Squad are good at what they do. Something I discovered last night as I came to a stopping place in yesterday's additions was that I don't currently have access to more than 95 percent of the stories I've written so far. Sadly there's starts and notes to at least four or five good books in there, and at least a dozen or more mediocre ones. I don't even want to think about how many individual short stories, class notes, photos and poems that could potentially be lost. Turns my stomach to think I might well be starting completely from scratch at this point, thesis deadlines now looming. The lone plus side, as far as I can tell, is that at least I find out now, if that's truly the case, rather than a week or two--or even worse still, the day of--my actual due date.   What baffles me most is that the total absence of those stories I sought (I mean like several folders seem to have evaporated from w...

Still battling computer problems so I hauled the big box in today. Gonna let the Geeks fight with it for a while. I've never been a real techno wizard. Not enough motor oil in it, I think. Not that I'm exactly a mechanical genius or anything, but I can usually get a motor to turn over, at very least. If not, I have a pretty damn good idea as to why. Computer goes wonky on me, and I turn into a monkey trying to fuck a football, for all intents and purposes. Using a tablet to type this up now, but despite it having an actual keyboard, I do believe it was designed with a kindergartener's hand in mind. It's about half the size of what I'm accustomed, and that's giving it credit. But at least I can keep writing this way. Not that I forgot how to use a pen, but it just takes longer: 1) I'd have to ultimately type it all again anyway at some point, and 2) I don't know where I left off on what I started already. I can access the cloud, where I saved it,...

Of course, I'm sure you were all hunkered up to the screen waiting, breath baited, for the latest edition. Yeah right. Your ass hurts... Let's just put it this way: I been busy. Somewhere between a hurricane, a wedding and the semester from hell these last few months, I've barely had time to fart proper. Of course, I'm sure the Old Lady might beg to differ. I'm sure that's got more to do with flavor than the savor of true and proper execution, but that's another story for another time. Thank God, that's all behind me now. Well, sort of. Speaking of stories, I really should be getting on with my mine. Enough vacationing. I write my thesis this year, which if all goes to plan, should land someplace between an original short story collection or novel, whichever works out first, I suppose. Gotta have it done to graduate come December, and the first draft is due about mid-March. 'Nuff rest for the wicked, I suppose. Time to get 'er done, d...